Should i marry a widower

The important thing to remember is to never get between your husband and his children. Don't put him in a position where he has to take sides. You never want him or his kids to blame you for creating a rift. Take time to move his late wife's things. We know how much you want your home to reflect you and your husband, and eventually it will.

Yes, you can re-arrange the furniture and add some of your own things, but do not remove her pictures if he were to die you wouldn't remove his. Add a few of your own; add some of your new family.

Eventually your presence will be the dominant one. Concentrate on taking care of your husband and making a happy life together. When you are with his children say that you're glad you can all be together to celebrate whatever the occasion is. Don't call yourselves a "family". That should come from his kids. Be patient, all of this takes time, and you have the rest of your lives together. Is it more difficult to establish a life with a divorced father or with a widowed father?

News U. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Cal January 13, at am. Your feelings and how you handled everything was completely normal and human. Everything in life teaches us something. I wish you the best!! But priest manuka did a spiritual prayers that resolved issues with my husband and push the other lady far away from him. USA business connect 2. USA Hook up rooms 3.

Dating rooms 4. Matchmaking 7. Older connects. Sophie Williams March 9, at pm Reply. Thank you so much for helping me hack into my husbands email which led to a stress free divorce dont know what i would have done without you.

For those of you with genuine hacker problems this European Hacker is a genius and offers any form of hacking services. Kylie Craig March 4, at pm Reply. I am dating a widow and our situation is very different. He became a widow at 22 in a car accident with his family when he fell asleep on a long drive when they were moving.

She was a bit older than him and was 6 months pregnant at the time. He sees psychologists and is on medication for P. We had a long talk about how inappropriate that was and why. She also had two children neither of which are biologically his but he fought in court and has guardianship over both of them. The little girl is older and remembers her mother very well. She is very on the fence when I come around. She will make comments that everyone forgets about her mommy when I come around.

She scolds him when he does this and tells him I am not his mother. Courtney September 27, at am Reply. My heart goes out to you. This is my 10th year of marriage to a widower. Similarly his late wife was pregnant. It just comes in waves.

I imagine that is so hard. Halunah March 3, at pm Reply. Deb February 14, at pm Reply. I am dating a widower who lives with his 31 year old daughter and grandson who is 3. I met him on a dating sight and we connected right away. It was 2 years after his wife passed and 2 years after my husband passed. He lived north Florida I lived south Florida. He would come down to visit with me and I would go and visit with him.

His wife passed suddenly , my husband was sick for a very long time and passed I let him grieve for a long time and he still does. Him and his daughter finally moved into my home. I lived alone with no children but loved children. They moved in stayed for 4 months and she took over my house. I bit my tongue so many times the way she controlled her Dad and disrespected him, til I finally blew up at her. Well with in 2 weeks they were gone. She made him find them a house and they moved out.

I did everything for this girl, her baby and his son who lived in another state. Every relationship he has been in she has managed to destroy. So now she hates me and he moved on to someone else, but he still calls me and wants to visit without her knowing. All I ever heard from the both of them is about his wife her mother. I could not compare to this person that had passed. Bella February 11, at am Reply. The widower I am seeing keeps taking me to places that he took his wife of 51 years.

I was married for 51 years also and understand some of his painful memories. He still sheds tears when some songs pop up in concerts we love to attend together. My question is: Is he marriage material? I conveyed my message to him that my future vision is for a long-term relationship to share the rest of my life with a man I can commit to.

I miss the closeness of life with a loving man who wants what I want, not what I need. I love this lonely man, but I do not understand his moods.

Should I stay or should I go? That is my dilemma. My heart says stay, but my head says go. I feel that I am helping him in every way, but I do not know how long I can keep doing so without a verbal commitment.

Jesse October 9, at pm Reply. It is not fair to you on any level. You deserve to be treated like a one and only because he is no longer here. I know someone is out there who is perfect for you and who will appreciate and value you for YOU! Hi Bella, sorry to read your experience.

It is a tough situation for sure. I was in a similar situation and realized that my heart which was telling me to stay was more of a codependent bond and I was taking on emotional responsibility for the widower and the situation.

Always go with behaviors and what they show you… never what they tell you. Every situation is unique, but in my case I realized I did not want to be second best for who knows how many years.

Jessica February 4, at am Reply. I have been dating a widower for almost 3 years. His wife passed 4 years ago. She was the love of his life. I am not bothered when he or his grown children talk about her. He has a few pictures of her around his home but not an excessive amount. He has told me he loves me but is not in-love with me. He describes how he felt when he fell in love with her…in his mid 20s…how he had to be where she was, had to breathe the same air. He understood that. We also go to church together almost every Sunday.

Have taken road trips together but our relationship has recently evolved into a mostly platonic one because he believes premarital sex is sinful. He also is preoccupied of our age difference. I am 10 years younger. Although he is older he physically is very fit and has no health issues. Rita Allen January 10, at pm Reply. One year ago I began dating a man who had been married for 40 years his wife passed 10 years ago.

Everything was going good for about three or four months until his year-old daughter left her husband ,who was beating her and moved in with her three-year-old son.

Is this worth staying in or are we both going to end up hurt? Tara June 28, at am Reply. I have been dating a recently divorced man for about two months. He has two teenagers and a 3 year old. He posted on Facebook that nobody knew his ex wife like he did among other things about their relationship. However I care about him deeply. Just not sure when and how to approach the subject. Ann January 4, at pm Reply. I am 68 and was divorced 34 years ago…. I was familiar with this widower and late wife only as an observer some 14 years ago.

His wife passed 2. This past September, after me being the recipient of some nice comments from him, he asked if I would like to go out to another dance on the weekend, saying he found me to be very attractive and wanted to get to know me more. My heart was about to burst….. That he is not into wanting friends with benefits and that he wants to keep things upfront and that he feels honesty is the best way.

With that he also said that he does see other women…again friends without benefits. They hold hands and cuddle watching TV and movies…and a kiss goodnight. He is fond of her and thankful for her because of how she was there for him but not fond of her as in a romantic relationship way.

She has wanted a relationship with him however…. I think she is patiently waiting that things will change as so often women will do even in a so called platonic relationship without benefits. Now there is also a third woman…. Maybe so at this point, but she may just be secretly buying time and hoping things will change. Long story short, we went a little further …. He still sees that holding hands and arms around the other as a none issue.

He always wants to be my friend and wants me in his life…. I told him of my feelings and crush on him of months long before….. I have cried and cried….. Anne-Marie September 17, at pm Reply. Alice A December 28, at pm Reply. I was hoping to get some advice on my current situation and would appreciate any input you can offer. We are in our 30s and met around 4 months ago. He was exceptionally keen from the beginning and said whilst he had been through some tough times, he was feeling really good and wanted to move on with his life.

I was the first person he had dated since his partner passed away. We text and spoke for several weeks, went on some amazing dates and got on so well. I really wish I had asked him sooner. After the relationship became more physical, I felt him step back a bit. He has always been a bit closed in the sense that things seem to have to get to an extreme point before he will talk about his feelings.

We continued to have a nice time etc but there were times where he went quiet for a day or so then came back with excuses about work etc though Im pretty sure he was struggling with his feelings. In early December he said that he was struggling with the thought of the holiday period as it brought back too many memories and he was having feelings of guilt at being in a relationship.

I decided to give him some space him after initially sending a few messages saying I was thinking of him and hoped he was ok. My instinct is to leave him alone and let him come back when he is ready. I would feel horrible if this was left with no closure and consequently I feel quite a lot of resentment currently. I really wish I had asked him more about his situation early on but having never been in this situation before I wanted to let it happen when he was ready.

So similar although our ages are much further apart. I just posted on my situation…. It is so hard after all of these years of not being with anyone…. I hope yours comes around and gets back to you soon. Best wishes. Micki December 25, at pm Reply. I am living with a widower who is 9 years my senior. His wife passed away three and a half years ago after a lengthy cancer battle. When I met him he had a wedding ring on and the house was left with all of her things neatly in place.

In fact, in their vacation home all of her things that were left there as well. After we dated for a bit, maybe a month, he took off the wedding band and began to remove some of the photos. I expressed that so many made me feel uncomfortable. I stated that one photo in the home out for everyone to see would be fine with me.

However, more than that and I would be uncomfortable. He removed some, but has left some in his office and that bothers me. He has been charming, graceful and I m in love with him.

When my love met his wife and when they were married, her daughter was already married. My love did not raise this woman. I do understand that through his grief she and her children were there to help him at times. They grieved together. My issue is that they are always texting and talking daily, sometimes hourly. Its constant. He shares funny things with her that he has shared with me.

When she sees him she gets her body right next to him to hug him. In fact, I feel that she has sexually manipulated him. I have told him that I am VERY uncomfortable with their relationship and this this woman needs to back off and that he needs to respect me. He says that he feels like she is his daughter. Still I could see that point if he raised her. He did not.

He has a home in Florida that his deceased wife bought before she died and the daughter used to bring it up regularly that the house belonged to her mother and that her mother wished she and her brother get the house. I feel like she just want stuff even though they both received a pretty good chunk of money as an inheritance when their mother died.

When I cleaned out both homes in the beginning my love ad I did this together the first time , I was very respectful and handled everything with care and love. I gave all the items to the daughter. I am having a very difficult time accepting them as his grandfather and her as his daughter. But in order to make things better I told him that I would try to be a part of this. However, things are not good. I explained to him the way to make me feel more a part of this would be to include me in conversations.

They included me in a text between the three of us but they are still talking with each other on the side and I am very uncomfortable with it. The group text is fake and full of just nothing real. They just tolerate me. The oldest daughter of this woman is very fake with me. In front of my love she jumps all over him and kisses him times and then looks back at me to see if I am looking.

I just smile. But it sickens me. Someone, anyone have any advice??? John Allen Parker December 22, at am Reply. Tim December 13, at pm Reply. She has been a widow for a very short period of time and he passed during them being seperated. I was actually seeing her during the separation and subsequent passing. I know i probably need to give her distance but when she wants to see me i get excited for a chance to see her. She really is wonderful and i feel i want to build more with her. Diane December 2, at pm Reply.

I started seen a widower almost 6 months ago, at the time he was widowed for 10 months. On the anniversary of her death he asked for some space which I gave him and let him contact me when he was ready.

I agreed to it because honestly I was having the most fun I have had in years with him. He spoke once in a while of his wife, there were a few pictures in their house, which does not bother me at all. He would say and do things that lead me to believe as well as some close friends who knew if the situation, that he does like me but is afraid of what others would say or that he felt guilty. We celebrated my birthday which was the beginning of November together it was really nice.

I know Thanksgiving was their favorite holiday. Before this we would text almost everyday, now he only text me when I text him which was only 2 times. I like him a lot even though I am not supposed to, and I keep getting theses signs that make me think if him. Should I tell him how I feel? Both his words and his actions are telling you this.

Guys who are ready for you and who want you and know this will pursue you to the ends of the earth. They are not conflicted. They are not blowing hot and cold. They are sure, and they make sure that you are sure.

This guy? He may be fantastic. He may be a prince. But his timing is not on your side. T December 2, at pm Reply. I am dating a widow who is 16 months into the process after losing her husband.

We met nine months after her losing her husband. We enjoyed our time together and during that time however during the first few months we broke things off a couple times.

Was it too early? Was she just trying to fill a void? Could she actually feel this way about another person after loving someone so deeply? She struggled a great deal trying to sort through the feelings. I became very attached to her and she struggled with not only my feelings but also her own regarding me. It really was difficult for her as she thought primarily about how this would affect her kids who were adults.

The last thing she wanted to do was hurt the children as they have already gone through so much. She also had fears about putting herself out there again with the idea that she could be hurt again by someone having health concerns and dying also. We had gotten to a point where it was either we were going to acknowledge the feelings or move on without each other.

After a break for weeks she came back to me and said she wanted to work on things. The key thing though for me was that somehow blending needed to take place in an appropriate time frame. She was always feeling like she was living two separate lives.

One that she was enjoying and trying to move forward in her life and a second one of a grieving wife and mother. She cared a great deal about how people felt regarding all of this. Family, kids, and even friends.

When is the timing right to start dating? Why worry about what others are saying? She was a caregiver for many years for a husband that was older than she was. In a way grieving had started prior to his death to a degree.

She had a great deal of loss in her life including a parent in the middle of all of this taking place. So she has had mixed support regarding the idea of dating. A few comments they have been questionable from friends, and even family.

So here we are just passing a major holiday with Thanksgiving and it felt like emotions were unbelievably high. Because of the challenge with blending we were not able to spend it together out of respect for one of the kids. Again these kids are all adults but one is struggling with accepting the fact that she is dating again. So we spent it apart and got back together last night and there was an extreme amount of emotion going on.

I have dated women that have gone through divorces and dealing with those types of issues however dealing with loss is completely different.

It takes a very unique individual to navigate through the various challenges that can be presented. One of them is if your partner is not great at communicating what is going on in their mind during their grieving. I tend to be the type of person that will talk through any issue which may be unusual for men. Karen December 4, at pm Reply. I can relate to so many of the questions you ask yourself. His wife passed one year ago today. We met online when unbenownst to me a month after her passing.

His father had lived in their home and passed 5 months before his wife, and he was a caretaker to the both along with family and hospice. When I found out how soon after it was I said we should just be friends. I dated and we did become closer. He was the confidant and companion I needed at that time, and I was the same for him. Looking on his FB I would become insecure. What can I ask and not ask about pictures?

How could he ever love me as much as he loved her.? Will every holiday be like this now? Every birthday, anniversary, deathiversary? Her birthday is in the same month as mine. When everyone said they will be together in heaven someday, I think what will happen to me if we have a future? Today people are reaching out and sending him notes saying they are thinking of him and missing her, knew Christmas was her favorite time of year…Christmas is my favorite time of year also, as Im sure it is for many.

She and I had similar music tastes as well. So I miss out with having him because of a ghost? And then I hate myself for feeling it and thinking it. I think she even cheated. Her own family and friends have said this. Yet the pictures and his grief tell a different story. He has a tattoo on his chest of her face from when he was deployed way back in I feel selfish. He is not a man who freely discusses his feelings. So what in the heck is my problem!

Thank you. Lorna Wilson April 8, at pm. I have to say alot of your story is also mine. I date a widower who lost his wife also three years ago. We have done everything together, we live together, bought a house together and I always have embraced his wife as part of us because it is part of him. He is recovering well and will make a full recovery. My heart broke. I have had very little insecurity, jealous or whatever that is called.

I have always believed we were brought together to live our lives together and we are a great couple. I know that. I am reeling right now and am preparing for him to be released tomorrow from the hospital. I know I need perspective and I am trying to find it. I am dating and love dance clubs. The best thing for me was to join an active widows club, some are national, in your community also, and I had done thing with them and meet people there.

I keep up my fitness. Some people meet at widows clubs. I do light body building and have spa days often, even at the local beauty school and am dating a man 12 yrs. We have wonderful communication skills , outdoor skills, dance events, and we love doing things in groups.

We will start disaster relief teams and go around the country for service. I like all military men and have found another.

I do not know if I will marry again but , to share, widows clubs, not grief medical center groups have helped be. Both are important, for me, I wanted to be active. You can choose to be as young or old as you want to be. James Carbajal December 1, at pm Reply. My Beautiful and giving wife and friend, Nancy passed away last Dec 3rd , right after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, as these holidays hold no bearing to me any longer, I understand that as humans, we are here for a short time and then we leave, it is the nature of things, however I believe that the end of human existence is only one part of the journey that we are all on, and that maybe physically I am unable to see her, I can still hear her calling my name, JIm-Jim-Jim LOL, I love her more then anything on this planet and beyond, more then my own existence, therefore I have made a conscious decision to stay married to My Lovely Bride, as nothing has changed, only the physicality is different, I will be with her one day, I know that!

I can hardly wait, but until then we will remain a married couple, and we will live on here and there, wherever it may be? Dave November 24, at am Reply. A lot to digest here. My best to all, believe me. That morning. It is up to my God if it is to happen again someday.. Roz November 19, at am Reply. I have just been reading all of the posts and cannot find anything that quite fits my situation. I am a 59 year old widow of 7 years, I was a caregiver for my husband for 5 years and then 18 months later became the caregiver for my mother until the her death along with my stepfather a month apart early During this process my relationship with my youngest brother was severed due to family matters.

My husband and I were together for 12 years but had been friends since we were 16, coming in and out of each others lives until we married.

I had a 7 year old son who grew to love and adore my husband, which helped us become a bonded family. My husband had other children but they were not a huge part of our lives but we all got along. Many complications through our relationship like many marriages but we worked through them. I started dating a friend a year after I lost my husband.

Please understand I loved my husband but I had been grieving the loss of him over the 5 years I took care of him. I still miss him as I do my parents and occasionally I have breakdowns of tears, sadness just wish I could talk to him.

This man that I have been dating for 6 years struggles with my sadness, my memories, etc about my husband so I have tried to keep my feeling about that hidden until this last month. I was dreaming about my husband, having conversations with him and just missing our closeness friendship Then I realized that I was keeping all of this to myself and I felt like I was keeping something from my boyfriend…. I do love him and I have never made a comparison of them or my love for either.

It has no bearing on how I feel about him. Our relationship is on extremely rocky ground right now. I do know that after telling him, even with all of the consequences, I felt relieved.

Marcus Shupp November 16, at am Reply. Feel free to send me a message and we exchange pictures and maybe someday coffee.. Dell November 29, at pm Reply. Hello Marcus I trust you will find happiness in love again. I understand. Please respond if you wish. Single in NC. Jane November 4, at pm Reply. Brenda October 27, at pm Reply. I dated a widower for two and a half months this past summer. It was a very sudden and unexpected relationship. I knew who he was and actually taught one of his sons about 15 years ago he is 24 now.

We had a wonderful couple of months together and got to know each other very well. Our communication was excellent. It was a very passionate, healhty, and respectful relationship. He spoke often about his late wife whom I knew earlier as the teacher of her child and I was very open about my children. We both agreed that our children come first and that if any issues should arrise with our children i.

I shared with him early on my anxiety about me having young children 8 and 11 and his being older 22 and He told me not to lose sleep over it and encouraged me to relax about the issue.

After letting my guard down and allowing the relationship to proceed, he ended up breaking things off because his boys started to get him thinking about the fact that I have young boys. He is a little older than me and moving into retirement mode a little sooner than I would be as well. He said maybe he would feel differently in a month but he did not want to lead me on and hurt me. I know he is very genuine and I respect his decision.

However, we really connected and cared for each other. When things started to get serious with Jennifer, I thought I loved her—or at least, I had strong feelings that I thought would turn into love.

As time went on and my feelings for her only become more ambivalent, I tried to convince myself that I loved her. I rationalized my lack of love toward her as a sign that I was still grieving.

All I needed, I thought, was more time to grieve, and things would eventually work out. If you want to avoid being the woman who gets used by a lonely widower, you need to make absolutely sure you and he both want to get married—to each other.

There are several ways to know how the widower really feels about you. The best and most obvious way is through his actions—not his words. But more often than not, a widower will send mixed signals.

For example, he may call you every day, but still have photographs of the late wife all over the house. This makes it hard for a woman to know where she stands. Find time when the two of you can have a serious conversation about where you see the relationship going. Julianna and I had several big talks at different points in our relationship. There were probably lots of smaller talks in between, too. Sometimes I found them uncomfortable, because Julianna was worried about whether I was really ready to commit.

However, because we were able to openly discuss what we wanted from the relationship, our discussions helped us move toward our goal of marriage. Knowing that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me made it easier for me to make room in my heart for her.