I was clingy can i get her back

Glynda Alves. Rate Story. Font Size Abc Small. Abc Medium. Abc Large. ET Bureau. Be on your way, Mr Needy No woman likes a man who keeps needing reassurance. Here's how you can change the cycle glynda. ETPrime stories of the day Under the lens NFRA member under lens for audit gaps in fraud-hit firm; cloud over selection process for regulatory posts. Subscribe to ETPrime. Browse Companies:.

Find this comment offensive? Stress is bad! Further, it is safer if you continue to avoid returning phone calls. At least until you have established good rapport through messaging first text or otherwise.

Any form of texting is safer and less stressful for both. If you follow the above tips, you will help generate curiosity in your ex-girlfriend rather than fear. You will find her less reactive. Instead of cynicism, she will feel intrigued about how you put the neediness behind you, which puts you on the right path to winning her back. Just type in your email address below, and hit the button. You will also receive daily ex-back tips to the same email address useful emails that will help you.

About the author: Michael Fulmer is a breakup consultant and relationship coach. He publishes the Ex-Communication newsletter to inboxes all over the world. Michael has been repairing breakups since Working alone, no fancy suits, shooting videos or posting fake smiling photos.

Stop Contacting Her Your top priority is to eliminate all signs of neediness immediately. Although a woman loves to be in a relationship with a guy who is loving, attentive and devoted to her, most women understand that a real man is someone who can love her, without needing her to be his main purpose in life.

So, if your neediness caused your ex to break up with you and not want you back, you must show her that you are now man enough to have your own dreams and goals in life, which are completely independent of your relationship with her. When you have a life purpose, ambitions, goals, dreams, interests and friendships that are separate from your relationship with a woman, it is less likely that you will ever feel needy, because your relationship is not who you are; it does not define you. I know this because my purpose in life is The Modern Man and even though I have a hot, young wife she was 20 when I met her and I was 35 , nothing that she says or does ever makes me feel needy or lost.

She knows that she is the most important person in my life, but the most important thing to me is The Modern Man. She knows that I would never let anyone, not even her, get in the way of the work that I want to get done here at The Modern Man to help guys succeed with women.

As a result of that, she has always respected me and looked up to me. She also respects and admires the hard work that I put into help men succeed with women and is proud that she has a man who is doing his best in this world. She also loves the fact that she is loved, wanted, respected and cared about, but that I would never, ever let anyone take my focus away from following through on my purpose in life.

Nothing that anyone could ever say or do would stop me from working on The Modern Man and following through on my purpose to help men succeed with women. When you stay focused on your biggest, most important goals and ambitions in life that are separate to your relationship with a woman, you are the kind of man that a woman can continually look up to and respect.

In your case, you are the type of man that your ex can look up to, respect and feel attracted to. You show her via your behavior, what you say, how you think and the way you respond to what she says. Yet, when a guy is only trying to mask his neediness, rather than quickly fixing it before he contacts his ex, it continues to come through in subtle ways when he communicates with her.

However, in most cases, a woman will pick up on the act and she will then test him by showing interest and then pulling back to see how he reacts. I was wondering… maybe we can get back together again. You know you mean everything to me. You see, at the beginning of our relationship we had a nice text ratio going. This means that we were completely even when texting each other. Of course, as our relationship grew deeper the texting ratio changed completely to a ratio.

This means that for every one text I would send you would send three in return. You see, when most women search the internet for advice on clingy behavior most experts list out all the needy behaviors that you need to avoid but almost none of them do a good job of explaining WHY you need to avoid them.

It is rare to find someone who will explain why men react badly to clingy behavior but I am going to because I am a man and I know how I would react if someone got overly needy. Imagine for a moment that you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you hear this buzzing around your head. You look around and discover that a bunch of gnats are following you around. No matter how many times you swat at them they still stay put. No matter how fast you run they still seem to follow.

It is entirely possible that this is how your ex boyfriend viewed you in your relationship if you were too overbearing with how you texted him. Notice how this string of text messages follows the classic text ratio meaning,. One of the best ways to determine if you were a text gnat or not is to look at your last text messages between you and your ex. If the ratio is close to it can be a little off here or there but has to be close then that means that you are doing well to stand by that ratio.

If for example, the texting ratio ends up being something like where you have sent him 70 text messages and he has only responded to 30 of those text messages then that probably means you are venturing into text gnat territory where you are becoming kind of overbearing. Someone who is a text gnat screams desperation and no guy wants a serious relationship with a woman who is desperate. They want a serious relationship with a woman who is confident enough to know that she actively chose to be with a guy.

In fact, I remember a long time ago there was one girl who had such a crush on me that she would text gnat the heck out of me. She kept texting me to the point where it really started annoying me and I eventually had to say something to her. Because she seemed totally desperate and if I am going to be attracted to anyone it was going to be a woman who is smart, independent and NOT desperate. Because it shows how much you care about each other. Of course, jealousy can become very dangerous if it starts to develop on an extreme level.

Lets say that you and I are currently in the middle of a relationship. As our relationship wears on I begin to notice that you get jealous any time I mention another girl. Now, a normal girlfriend should be excited about the prospect of going to a party with her boyfriend.

No, you are the insecure controlling type not really hopefully. Instead of being excited about the party you get angry at me for texting another girl and accuse me of cheating. How did you meet her? When was the last time you saw her? Are you cheating on me? I met her through work. You become so threatened by Tina that you forbid me to ever text another girl for the rest of my life. In fact, if you ever catch me texting another girl throughout our relationship you threaten to break up with me.

In my opinion, extreme jealousy has a direct correlation to a woman trying to control a man and nothing annoys a man more than a woman who tries to control him. Look, we chose to be in a relationship with you.

We chose to become exclusive with you. If you show us a little trust it can go a long way. I have only heard of one example of shadowing in my personal life but I have heard of multiple examples through this site which is why I know it exists.

Shadowing- Becoming so dependent on another human being that you have to be around them all the time. It is an extreme form of being controlling. When I was in high school a very long time ago I knew a guy that would get angry at his girlfriend for the dumbest things. I remember he once told me that when he was over at her house she left the room without him. When I heard this I was baffled at why he would have to accompany her if she simply wanted to leave the room. Look, I get being so in love with someone that you hate it when you are apart.

However, if you have become so clingy or controlling that you literally have to go with them from room to room then that is a big issue. We need time to recharge sometimes before we can consume everything you want us to consume.

Think about it, if your ex wanted to have a guys night out with his friends but you insisted on tagging along you were harassing him with unwanted attention which is technically the same behavior a stalker engages in. That means that every day whenever I read your comments on this site I can kind of get bummed out because, to me, it sometimes feels as if all I see are failed relationships.

Lately, in an effort to change this I have been reading up a lot about the most successful relationships so I can get some positivity back in my life which in turn will help me give out better advice. Neither person involved in the relationship tries to control the other person. Rather they work together as a team to discuss their issues. The thing about me is that I am the most loyal man you will ever meet. In other words, I am basically saying that the only time I would hang around other girls is if my girlfriend you in this imaginary case was there.

I feel this is an extremely rare quality in men now-a-days and it also says a lot about my character. So, lets pretend that you are really insecure about other girls around me, even though I have proven to you multiple times that I am the most trustworthy man on the planet.

In fact, you have become so insecure about other women that you constantly try to control me and basically order me to never talk to any of them ever again. Not to mention you are trying to control me and no man likes being controlled. Now that you have a pretty good idea of what clingy behavior is and why it annoys men lets take a look at what you are going to have to do in order to overcome that clingy behavior to have a chance at getting your ex boyfriend back.

Many of you are aware that I am a fan of putting graphics together for this site. Well, below you will find a graphic that i put together that will teach you how to overcome his reservations about taking you back because of your clingy nature.

Now, before I get started on explaining what I mean by these four pillars I feel it is very important to discuss the point of what we are trying to accomplish here. One thing we already know is that you want your ex boyfriend back. Well, in order to have a chance at winning him back you are first going to have to overcome his impression of you he thinks you are clingy. If the main goal that we are trying to accomplish here is overcoming your exes impression of you then it is probably a really good idea to figure out what that impression is.

For example, if you and I dated each other and I was constantly telling you how I hated the fact that you were always trying to control me then you would know that the clingy behavior that you would really have to work on is to NOT be controlling.

In other words, what we are trying to do here is to figure out what behaviors you exhibited that needs to change for you to even have a shot of getting him back. I want you to think back to your fights and arguments with your ex. So, when you think back to you and your exes fights what was it about you that he was complaining about that could be classified as clingy. Disclaimer- We are only looking for clingy behavior here.

While I never actually was in a relationship with this person I never even went a date with her actually she exhibited some super clingy behavior from the get go that made me immediately want to not talk to her.

However, usually I always get around to it. I immediately classified her behavior as clingy and controlling and I did not want a presence like that in my life. If you need a refresher on how creepy this can be take a look at the very first picture I posted on this page of the woman who called her ex 77, times after her breakup with him. In most relationships men put the most effort into making the relationship happen.

However, once the relationship has already commenced then the women take over from there and do everything in their power to keep the relationship going. You see, men can sometimes have this nasty habit of getting comfortable in a relationship. In other words, they grow lazy and spoiled and get used to women doing everything for them.

As a result, when a breakup occurs they almost expect that YOU are going to be the one that contacts them first begging for a second chance. By being clingy and needy with phone calls or texts you are playing right into what they already believe is going to happen.

So, rather than playing right into what he already believes is going to happen after a breakup you getting all clingy with phone calls I would recommend that you do the exact opposite of that. You should do what a strong woman would do, not contact him at all. Many of you are aware of my thoughts on the no contact rule. Well, I am of the mind that giving your ex space after you have been clingy is the smartest thing you can do.

Men have this constant need to feel admired by women. Of course, when you shower a man with constant attention that attention is going to lose some of its value over time because he is going to get used to it.

By doing a no contact rule for either 21 or 30 days depending on the situation you are going to accomplish two things. If you guessed the girl who tries to get her boyfriend back when he is not that angry then you guessed right. The no contact rule is perfect for giving your ex boyfriend time to cool down which in turn is going to increase your chances to seem less clingy and also get him back.

I am going to be talking about this a lot more in-depth in the next section but for now I can give you a little teaser of whats to come. While you are using the no contact rule to give your ex time to cool down you can also be using it as a way to get rid of your clingy habits and reshape your image so that your ex no longer views you as clingy.

However, when you sit down and really peel back the layers you will find that, that quote has a flaw. Well, I take offense to that because I personally believe that self improvement should be something every human being should strive for. I mean, what is wrong with wanting to become a better version of yourself? Now, I am not saying you should compromise your morals or do something your not comfortable with but I think it is completely ok to want to be a better version of yourself.